The Downside Of Being a Migratory Nomad Bird

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Report From a Friend (actually dad's friend's daughter, meh gambled with her during one CNY when i was 11 or so) who has migrated to London :
http://areshaonline.com/the-downside-of-being-a-migratory-bird/

Disclaimer: This is a reflective post written in 150% honesty if you care about this sort of font type. Sometimes it’s just good to type out your thoughts. Because that’s what writing should be about.

Today I had an interesting whatsapp conversation with Boggy. Boggy and I have been brothers from other mothers since we met in secondary school at the useless age of 13.

We went to the same kindergarten together but only really became friends when we met as teenagers. I guess this brings some truth to the theory of meeting the right person at the right time/juncture in your life for it all to make sense.

And then it led me to think about how, despite the fact that we’ve been buddies for the last 15 years, we’ve communicated for a long time on Whatsapp and Facebook. Something I find extremely limiting because there’s nothing better than just meeting up in person and talking a whole load of comforting, familiar psychobabble.

99% of my friendships and family relationships exists via the help of the internet because:

I haven’t spent more than 3 years in a single country in the last 9 years of my life.

It’s a pretty scary thing to be so far away from the few who love you back. Not to mention how incredibly frustrating it is to make new friends the older you get. You often feel like a square peg in a room of happy round holes, or like a misunderstood retard ‘ad break’ -interjecting in the comforting, familiar psychobabble that others are having happily without you in it.

The weird thing is that I’ve learnt to exist in perpetual transit while struggling to keep the emotional ties I’ve made with people dotted all around the world. Most of which are ties which aren’t strong enough to make much worthwhile sense of an ‘online’ friendship.

I sometimes feel I exist somewhere between yesterday and today, neither here nor there.

And like a submarine I vanish hiding in the psychological and physical distance of the deep blue sea. Resurfacing sporadically only to realize that a lot has changed while you were off  exploring marine life… a choice you made because the cards you got dealt weren’t royal flush and you’re not exactly great at holding a poker face.

I’ve also been feeling the strain of not being able to communicate with my brother (with autism) at the drop of a hat via mobile or the internet since he got relocated to a care home in 2011. It was the best thing to happen to him, but it’s driven an emotional wedge that I have to work extra hard at breaking down with an ice axe every time I make a pit stop back in Singapore.

It’s a real mindpuzzle trying to make sense of all of this…not really knowing the beginning or the end of this journey to ‘be’ the best you can at playing the poker game of life.

I have found such a good place to be at work-wise, London is such a creatively inspiring and challenging place, I have two lovely pet cats and the best pet boy ever.

But there’s this other half of the picture that doesn’t exist in ‘transit’ that I have yet to fully comprehend.

Do you?


-Aresha
Long stories of a singaporean quitter attempting to become foreign talent... in London.

10 Common Misconceptions About Money

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

10 Common Misconceptions About Money
By Stacy Johnson


I recently celebrated my 57th birthday, and have arrived at a common conclusion about getting older: It sucks. But there’s one good thing that comes with age – the wisdom that can only come from experience.
Experience helps you understand how life actually works, and how
remarkably different life is from the kind you so often see portrayed
in commercials, movies, and daydreams.
Prime example? Money. The myths surrounding money are numerous and widely held, especially among the young.
It’s a shame, because pursuing myths will lead you astray, waste your time and, taken to extremes, ruin your life.
Here are 10 popular misconceptions about money that experience has taught me are more often fiction than fact…

1. The more money I have, the happier I’ll be.

Let’s ask Howard Hughes, Anna Nicole Smith, John Belushi, Chris
Farley, Marilyn Monroe, Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, and Elvis about this one. OK, guys, show of hands… did fame and fortune make you happy?
Happiness comes from liking yourself, something completely unrelated to money. Riches buys recognition, too often confused with validation.
But respect, especially self-respect, isn’t for sale.
When you’re on your death-bed, will you be thinking about money? If so, your contribution to the gene pool was negligible. Rather than obsessing about money, think about what really makes you happy. Then make only enough money to take part in those activities. Making more is a waste of the only non-renewable resource you have: your time on the planet.

2. A big income will keep me out of debt.

What’s the difference between someone who makes $50,000 a year with a $100,000 mortgage and someone who makes $500,000 a year with a $1million mortgage? Answer: nothing. Unless they have money set aside for emergencies, they’re both a paycheck away from disaster.
Debt often rises with income. What keeps you out of debt isn’t a high
income or net worth. It’s not borrowing money.

3. Millionaires drive fancy cars, wear fancy clothes, and live in fancy houses.

Not according to the folks who did a bunch of research and wrote The Millionaire Next Door. According to their studies, the average
American millionaire drives an unexciting American car, lives in the
same nondescript house they’ve owned for years, and avoids designer labels. That’s how they became millionaires.
So who’s buying all the designer clothes and Porches?
Many times it’s people who will never become wealthy because they’re swapping tomorrow’s financial freedom for today’s appearance. As I’m fond of saying, life affords you the opportunity to either look rich or be rich, but few live long enough to accomplish both.
The younger you decide, the better.

4. The more money I have, the less worries I’ll have.

Balderdash. Money doesn’t end anxiety. It gives you something else to be anxious about: losing your money.
Granted, those without enough money to eat or keep a roof over their heads have lots to worry about.
But once you have enough money for all your needs and a reasonable number of your desires, the excess will add to your concerns, not alleviate them.

5. Money will help me find love.

In my experience with women, they’re not attracted to money. They are, however, attracted to ambition and intelligence, especially when it presents as humour.
Everyone’s attracted to people who are self-confident, non-needy, and able to laugh at themselves.
Like a peacock, wealthy people can easily attract attention.
But attention isn’t the same as admiration or affection.
And even if it works, do you really want to spend your life with someone so shallow and insecure they were attracted to your money?

6. I’ll have more fun if I have more money.

When I was young, I didn’t have two nickels to rub together, but I had a ton of fun. Today I have lots of nickels – and am happy to report, still having a riot.
There’s no doubt that money can furnish the elements of a good time.
But if you need money to have fun, you’re boring.
And should you become a billionaire, you’ll still be boring.

7. Money means security.

When you boil it down, a primary purpose of money is to make life more predictable. It allows you to control your environment by being prepared for the unexpected.
While that’s partly true, there’s not enough money in the world to
completely control everything. I could have a heart attack and die
before I finish writing this, and you could have one before you finish reading it. Accept that we’re all bobbing on a sea of uncertainty, no matter how much money we have.

8. Money will enable me to meet interesting people.

In my experience, you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting
interesting people. But if I want to maximize my odds of meeting
someone worth knowing, I won’t be heading to the nearest country club.
I’ve met plenty of fun and interesting rich people – but I’ve also met
rich people who were vain, myopic, pretentious, and judgmental. They weren’t that way because they were rich. They were that way because they were born rich and as a result never had to overcome adversity.
Overcoming adversity is what makes people interesting, not how much money they have. People without at least a few skeletons in the closet are often shallow as a puddle.

9. I need money to travel, and travel is important.

The world is an interesting place, and being well-travelled makes you interesting. But travel comes in many forms, including the budget variety. If you want to see faraway places, you’ll find a way.
In my book Life or Debt, I conclude by describing the first book I
ever read about something I love: sailing.
The book was about a couple who built their own sailboat and travelled around the world, working when they needed to and never accumulating more than a few thousand dollars at a time. Their boat had no air conditioning, no refrigerator
– not even a radio.
What most people do in the same situation is wait until they have
enough money to buy what amounts to a floating condo: a boat that’s luxurious, seaworthy, and far too expensive to ever actually buy. The result is they spend their lives on the dock. What a waste.

10. Money will buy friends.

This is not only untrue, it’s the opposite of what money actually
does. I’ve got a super-rich friend or two, and what I’ve observed is
that money attracts plenty of hangers-on – but almost no friends.
People with vast wealth or fame can’t trust the motives of those
surrounding them (see No. 5 above). That’s why the people they count as true friends are normally either people they knew before they were rich and famous, or people who are equally rich and famous.
There’s the advantage of being judged on your personality versus your net worth: The friends that result actually like you, not what you can do for them.


"How happy a man is, is not how much he has but how little he needs."

Mark Twain once said, “Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said.”

The 4 Wives.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best. He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another. He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant, and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult times.

The King’s 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her! One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and wondered, "I ! now have four wives with me, but when I die, I’ll be all alone."Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walked away without another word. Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.

The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I’m going to remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you’ve always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I’m sorry, I can’t help you out this time!", replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." Her answer came like a bolt of lightning, and the King was devastated.

Then a voice called out: "I’ll leave with you and follow you no matter where you go." The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was so skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"

In truth, we all have 4 wives in our lives: Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it will leave us when we die.

Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others.

Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go.