Thankful.

Appreciate.

Right now, while you’re sitting at home scrolling down your Tumblr dashboard, there is someone bringing a child into the world, someone has just fallen in love, someone is sleeping, someone just received a life changing sum of money, someone’s getting married, someone is learning to read, a child just said their first word, someone is staring into space and someone is having the best day of their life. But, right now…someone has also just been told they have weeks to live, someone has just commited suicide, someone is begging on the streets just to be able to eat, someone has just lost the most important person in their life, someone is being held prisoner, someone is sitting in a factory working for 16 hours a day earning close to nothing. You’re sitting on a chair, you have electricity, heat, food, clean running water and you have enough free time to read this. So before you start complaining about your own life, think of the others than wouldn’t know how.

Life's Meaning.

Life Quoted.

Extracted from my ex-motivational teacher's Facebook quotes:

"The first question you will ask and which I must try to answer is this, 'what is the use of climbing Mount Everest ?' and my answer at once must be, 'It is no use'. There is not the slightest prospect of any gain whatsoever. Oh, we may learn a little about the behaviour of the human body at high altitudes, and possibly medical men may turn our observation to some account for the purposes of aviation. But otherwise nothing will come of it. We shall not bring back a single bit of gold or silver, not a gem, nor any coal or iron. We shall not find a single foot of earth that can be planted with crops to raise food. It's no use. So, if you cannot understand that there is something in man which responds to the challenge of this mountain and goes out to meet it, that the struggle is the struggle of life itself upward and forever upward, then you won't see why we go. What we get from this adventure is just sheer joy. And joy is, after all, the end of life. We do not live to eat and make money. We eat and make money to be able to live. That is what life means and what life is for. "

- George Mallory

Lost.

Somewhere Only We Know.

What's happening...? Why is everyone on facebook posting comments about everyone being seperated..? Didn't we just went out and enjoyed ourselves in K-session? But why everyone suddenly write all these stuff... What is HAPPENING?

Lost in the East Side of Singapore. Maybe i know what is going on, maybe i don't. Maybe it's me they're talking about, maybe they're not. IWONTKNOW. Maybe i shouldn't. Exams are nearing. These stuff shouldn't be priority right now, no matter how detrimental it might be in the near distant future.

Try to ignore.

Because Ignorance is a Bliss.

I always envy people who doesn't give a shit to politics around them. I tried, and it failed Oh-So-Miserably. I am not that kinda person. Good, Bad? IWONTKNOW. Well, what can i say? 

The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.

United to make this world more interesting.

Interesting..

.

.

.

Nah, i'd rather it not be. 

Whatever has been happening, i just hope it's not about me. Cos everyone has sins. And mine is no better. Maybe i am paranoid, hope i am right. 

No one is perfect.  

I fucking hate the fact that i am on the other side of Singapore. Always getting left out. Maybe that's why i am so paranoid. Fuck this shit. 

Runaway Maid! Part 2.

O.M.G NOT AGAIN.?!


YES.  my maid ran again!


After the incident of the first maid, my parents went to get another maid. She couldn't speak much english and my mum assured her that it was alright cos my mum could speak  malay.

Came to our house last night for the first time.

And ran away, literally, climbing out with her luggage back to the agency this morning. Less than 12 hours.
I DIDN'T EVEN SEE HER FACE.      &*(%$ ????


One thing i learn from this and i have already told my dad. Don't get a maid that can't speak English.
The reason?
Ok, *info*info*
A maid has to learn the foreign language of stay, English, with the agency before being hired. Since this maid can't speak good english means she couldn't be bothered to study English, thus showing that she is a LAZY person. That's why when she came into our house, she was so overwhelmed that she had to clean such a big house she ran away.

RUNAWAYS ARE FREAKIN' LOSERRRRRSSSS. 

ARGHHH CNY COMING LIAO AND NO MAID....HOWWWWWW?

BRR.

Magic Numbers!

Magic Of Numbers!




This year we will experience 4 unusual dates:
1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 

NOW go figure this out.... take the last 2 digits of the year you were born plus the age you will be on your birthday this year and it WILL EQUAL TO 111

Love.

Love.

No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won‘t make you cry.

the Irony. the pain. the suffering. the truth.

Saw that quote and decided to write this down. How ironic, especially coming from the person who was writing it.Reading it gave me a sensation of jealousy, yet a sense of understanding and pity. See, the guy who wrote this likes the girl whom i USED TO like too. And he is the same class as her. Seeing him with her every day during lectures, lunches really pains me. 

EATING LUNCH PAINS ME. _|_ <-- THAT SUPER SUCKS OK?COS I<3 EATING. _|_

My friends will most probably be reading this. SO YEAH TO MY FRIENDS: READ THIS. This is my testimonial.

I really feel a lot of sadness. Maybe depression? But i don't know the feeling of depression. I have major mood swings on normal days so i won't know. 

Smiling with a dried up tear stoke mark down my cheeks. 


.
.
.

 I'm so afraid to love you. But more afraid to lose.

                     Sarah McLachlan - I Will Remeber You 

8 months. That's how long it took for it to end.
2 months to find out her number.
3 months .. our first outing.
4 months to find out what she likes.
5 months.. our first date.
6 months...
7 months..
8 months.

This is how I lost more than I had ever won. And honestly I ended up with none.

B.o.b. Nothing On You ft. Bruno Mars

I knew we weren't meant to be,

We were so different.

I wanted to see if love would prevail.

Guess that only happens in movies.

Why do people love?

Or to phrase it correctly : Why do people seek love? 

Some seek for the fun, some seek for the fame, some seek for the pleasure, some seek for the feeling itself. 

Seek the truth and you'll seek glory.

 Is it really that satisfying to get hurt time and again over the different people passing through my life, getting hurt time and again. For caring people who do not care for me? It's soo stupid. I'll say that now, but the sad truth is that Life is a Cycle. 


I just want to be single for a while… I’m so sick of dealing with the stress of being in a relationship. You either aren’t giving enough or giving plenty and getting nothing in return.

-Tumblr

This Post is not about the girl that i have given up on. This post is about the fact that i have given up on love time and again bcos it has failed me time and again. 

Iwillnotfindlovetillitfindsme.

Education.

Knowledge.

Imagine watching a Movie about 2 deaf people. 

1. The movie is in German.
2. The subtitles are in German.

Think about the thought for a moment.

Understand the special meaning: 

1. U are watching a movie about people that cannot hear but only can see to understand.
2. U are watching the movie and u cannot 'hear' cos u cannot understand, but u can only see it to understand. 

Think about the thought for a moment.

The Art of Literature. ♥
-"The study of Life and it's deeper meaning."

Literature doesn't have to be about bombastic words or retarded quotes. It's about seeing things and Life differently from anybody else. I used to study literature for 2 years. Every lesson we would just read short stories and find hidden meanings inside them. And most of the other times, we would watch NC16 or M18 movies, crude songs, etc. Gore, lyrically crude songs by Good Charlotte. LOL, even though we were all underage, during lessons. But my teacher would teach us the hidden meanings behind them, even though they were out of syllabus. This is how i view education. This is knowledge that cannot be taken from me. 

*info*info*

I am a engineering student, thus i like doing maths and physics n stuff like that.. 

But i love literature too. But i hate English Language. Ironic, right?

As i said earlier, it's not about the quotes and how much crap u r capable of writing, it's about much knowledge one can extract out from things deem simple by ignorant people around us.








Btw this is the link to the German movie:
(I honestly understood the movie without understanding the language.)
Hope u will watch the show and enjoy. =)
Jenseits der Stille (1996)

My Eternal Slumber.

Reminisce the Halcyon Days.

Crisis Core. Most Favorite Game of all time.

Ayaka
Clap & Love

Really, this is my favorite song of all time. Not only cos it is the first song + game (crisis core) that made me cry. But that the singer, Ayaka, is a really awesome singer. Her voice is deep and really nice. Really makes me fall in love with someone just hearing her voice man. 

This is the link to the song btw:

Hope u enjoy.. I know i'll definitely will. :)


Lyrics (English translation, cos i truly love the meaning) :


The haze beyond your eyes clouds my sight,
Are there feelings lying at the bottom of your heart?

Even if the whole world was yours,
Would that that bring you happiness?

Why do you stare up at the lonesome sky?
Why, let's see you smile
I know what you're like,
How you aren't good at putting things into words, so why not...

What happened in days long past?
In your eyes, as turn your gaze away from me

Do you know of such a warmth,
One that can embrace you on those lonely nights by yourself?

Why are you so worked up on appearances?
Why, open up your heart
I know you've had a heavy cross to bear,
But I've got the strength to accept you
So why not try believing in me

The free are awkward...
The free are anxious...

Why do you look up at the lonesome sky?
Why, let's see you smile
I know what you're like,
How you aren't good at putting thing into words
So why not try believing in me

Legendary.

This is Legend-..wait for it..

You have no idea how much this picture made me laugh. This man right here.. is so LEGEND..wait for it..wait for it.. i hope u're not lactose in tolerant cos the next word is DARY.!

aw man . HIMYM is able to survive for 6+2 seasons bcos of him. serious. 70% watch cos of him. 10% learn the secrets of picking up chicks & 20% who wanna find out who the ^%$# is Ted's wife.
LOL.


-DARY.

Friendship.

If I happened to show up on your door step crying, would you care?

If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something happened, would you come?

If I had one day left to live my life, would you be part of that last day?

If I needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours?


This is a test to see who your real
friends are or if you are just someone to talk to you  when they are bored .








Do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes? 

They blink together,


they move together,


they cry together,


they see things together,


and they sleep together,

but they never see each other;


....that's what friendship is..






Your aspiration is your motivation,


your motivation is your belief,


your belief is your peace,


your peace is your target,


your target is heaven,

and life is like hardcore torture without it!

Religion.

Assurance. Guidance. 
Fact or Fiction.? Right or wrong.?

A super duper sensitive topic that i wanna touch upon.

OK i watched the movie "Seasons of the Witch" recently, and the movie was covering on The Crusades War, or just, religion war. Also i watched this Youtube video about the song "Amazing Grace". Which really touch my heart. So that's why i decided to touch on this topic.
The vid:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMF_24cQqT0

Who's right who's wrong.? The past has shown that the world has fought because of religion. But who is the winner or the loser.? Well surely the ones who died for their religion (which is basically everyone who fought in the war), are..... dead. (yes i'm changing topic.) So yeah,... BUT i'm not saying religion kills! NO ONE IS RIGHT, NO ONE IS WRONG.
Ok, ok .
*info*info*
I'm a free thinker. But actually i am in a fine line of a free thinker and atheist . <-- (please don't stone me people. )

ANYWAY. My honest opinion, u asked? Wellll .

Firstly, since i'm on the fine line of atheist n FT(free thinker, yes im lazy.), well, being an atheist means not believing in any deity, or God. But well, understanding from my point of view, people tend to worship their God as a individual being. But personally, i feel that(This is were my FT comes in =)) God is not really a being. But, (ok layman-ing i'll use 'someone',) someone that is there to guide ur emotional being. I've seen, and i myself, people who prays for guidance, which is perfectly alright. 

U pray to seek guidance. U pray to seek assurance.

Secondly, some pray to worship, which means to glorify their god and thank their god for whatever they are thankful for. They follow their religion and feel assured that they are guided by their god, or just following religion set by their god. Now, this aspect is, of course, not minded . I mean, "give back what u take." Right? "U take some u give some." Best way is to worship/follow religion etc. So most people go to church, mosque.etc.

I wanna touch on that ^ point, Which i hope people will understand this part cos i feel it is of one the most important point i wanna give.  

Thirdly, going to a worship area. Ok, to be simple, i'll just use Christianity. people go to church to pray, service etc. As a Singporean, most of us would know some of the famous churches. The point i am trying to make is that, is there a necessity to GO to a worship site just to worship? I honestly feel, (ok i may not be a christian, but i've went to a church and listen to it b4 thus i have knowledge about christianity.) that the importance of going to a church is not that important. QUESTION: why are u going to church? It's to worship and sing praises to your God.. But is it possible to do that at home? I am sure it is, (sure there might not be a pastor eg.). But the point is taken. I, myself, pray to God, (whichever), when i feel very emotionally depress or in need of guidance. This gives me assurance and a sense of happiness.

I don't have to go to a church to do it. I can do it just before i sleep. Close my eyes and say my prayers. Heard or not, it'll make me feel good no matter what.

Ok, another answer to the question is that: to gather people of similar idealogy and bringing the society closer to bond and sing in harmony. But back to my topic, if i can do that at home, alone, it cannot mean that i am not an active Christian! I am just an introvert, so to speak.

PS: This are my opinions. I don't need your hate to give me your opinion btw. Like what my sister taught me 2 days ago:

"Everyone has their own opinion. You are right. But the other person is also right. You are wrong. But the other person is also wrong. No one can change our opinion, neither can you. So if u have this conflict, just learn to accept their opinion. Fighting only leads to hatred."

 I wanna talk about the youtube link i watched too.
Well, i only liked the history part about it.
He mentioned how a slave could come up with such a song. How the song is coincidentally, uses all black notes.  I wouldn't say he is right, nor is he wrong. The knowledge i have learn from this short clip and this man is that bringing people together in harmony through the voice of music is truly wonderful. (I'm sure everyone will agree with me). Music is Power!

The point i am making is that no matter what different religion u are from, or what religion u are NOT from, the biggest importance is to make one feel happy, guided, assured & even have a feeling of togetherness. No matter what, be it praying at home, or praying in a worship building, the fact that everyone can live by through their very own ideology together without any conflicts, will one day, slowly but surely, become a better day.  

"Everyone has their own opinion. You are right. But the other person is also right. You are wrong. But the other person is also wrong. No one can change our opinion, neither can you. So if u have this conflict, just learn to accept their opinion. Fighting only leads to hatred."

(yes, i'm repeating it again, my sister's 1st ever wise quote. LOL)

Imagine - John Lennon

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Finally Shoutbox up. Took me 2hours to set it up . brrr damn pissing off. =.=
SO u guys better shout at me! LOL. thanks.

Trust.

Trust.

What is trust? The aspects of such a term conforms to mutual feelings or unanimously? 

Cos honestly, over the past few days i've been through a lot and have thought to myself who i can trust and who i can't. And reality is that the people whom i trust are usually the ones who don't trust me. 

Ironic? Sad.? The truth.

The people who trust me.. well to say, i don't really feel a need to trust everyone and not trust everyone. I feel that people who are close to me will be trusted on basic standards so thus close friends would be people i trust, for obvious reasons.. or is it? I have this feeling that those who are close to me don't trust me at all. Past experiences says so. 

People usually think that cos i like to talk a lot means i would not be able to keep secrets. Which is utter bullshit. Thus at least i know they aren't true friends.

But then again, 

Who ARE true friends? 

What define these 'True Friends'. 

The answer is still out there for me to reach out and grab it. 

Till then . . . 

Fifa 2011 is nice btw. Kingdom Hearts. complete. Well off to the next game. 

Honestly i already given up on reality as it brings no justice & happiness to me whatsoever. 

Hmm. i wonder if people even read this. 

TO: people who read this, Comment !!!! OR do something to know u're here! (i sound like im speaking to ghosts. o.o)

Therapy.

My mood booster.

I watch this when I am sad. 

Sorry Khairi.

Confessions

Countless hours of reckoning

Many moments of solitude

He's been there for her all these years

She's broken hearted from time to time.

He's the one she confides to

Always saying it will be alright

Finding ways to tell her

How much he really feels inside

And he wanted her to know,that she'll never be alone,if only she knew.

His eyes were tired,they were sad

but yknow he'll surely wait for you

He's too shy to make a move

Well girl,guess what hes so in love with you.

A few months passed and they drifted

He'd never felt so fucked up

They finally met at their favourite spot

All of a sudden she turned away.

Tears then streamed down her face

She musters strength and then she said

she's too afraid to love,more afraid to lose.

He held her close and whispered saying that he'll always love her,

Girl could he have a chance?

Angry. Hurt. Lost.

It could have been Different.


Tell me. why did u have to lie to me ? I won't say what it is . Cos i know u're hurting too. I won't ever blame u for feeling this way. but to lie is really shit. And u'll say u're not lying. I Fucking hate that aspect about u. u ALWAYS SAY that u 'didn't say that' .
THIS IS A LOT OF ANGER ACCUMULATED TGT.
ok Fine, after u explain to me. i understand ur point of view. U are not lying. Time, u say it happened again. So what u told me is true. But u r always keeping things from me and i must ask u till u tell me. So in the end im the busybody. Like. ok. Fine. I give up. U win.

Too fucking tired to play this mind-fuck-games.

And it was tumblr's fault i found out. What a first for all these kinda stuff. Really. Kudos. 

Angry. Hurt. Deceived. 

Blame? Who's to blame.? Time, i suppose. Wow. I've been blaming time a lot recently. I'm sorry time, I guess it comes right back to me.

1 thing i despise is how u always say that u "didn't say that" . or that u only "see first" or "suggested". 

"Be a man."

Someone said that to u before.

I'm saying it again.

Now it's too late 

Maybe it was for the better

Maybe it was for the worst

I would not know now

Cos the past has already been.

Runaway Maid!

W.T.F N.I.G.H.T.

runaway maid!!

OMO man ! was suppose 2 pick up my maid at 7.30pm just now. Then my mum received a call from our maid's husband. And we had just parked in T1. After 10mins phone call, my mum said that our maid ain't coming home. <-- _|_ WAD THE SHIT?!

(thank goodness my mum understands BM.)

Anyway the 'reason' is that she had been hospitalised cos of some leg problem. ?

*INFO*INFO*

She wanted 2 divorce her husband previously.

Her husband said on the phone he'll sent d work permit and air ticket back.

QUESTION 1: If she was just hospitalised, why need 2 send back the work permit? =.= <- that's the best an uneducated man's lie can get.

Epic Fail.

 Now i don't have a maid and CNY is next week, Power power power.

Second

After coming back empty handed, we went to eat dinner. On the way to our car, some *^%$# spit on my leg. FML. Shit man . SBS.

My first post.

My first post . 

Intro

Tried this cos my poly classmate suggested it 2 me.. well it was cos of d movie 天天好天. It made me think a lot about my life and so my friend tell me 2 write it in a blog. Went 2 watched it in JB cos it is MY movie. (oops cannot say ltr my parents find out :P)

Anyway it was an awesome day cos i realise i very long go JB through Woodlands already. (6years OMO!.o.o)

Me n CH went 1st den met the rest an 1hr later. Ate at Nando's den catched the movie at 7.25! Wowz. Malayian movie at least got standard compared to Sg.. Sg kinda fail haiz.

Watching the movie made me realise a lot of stuff. 

Well since this is my 1st post u won't know me n my life. 

SOOOO.. *Info*Info*

Well I'm 17 coming to 18 soon. In poly studying Engineering. And have a bunch of awesome classmates, friends that are mostly malaysians. .

Reflections of my life

Which comes to my 1st point:

Since my bestest of friends are malaysians.. i sometimes feel very 'out'. cos they would talk abt MY stuff. which i feel perfectly acceptable and have gotten used to it . Who's to blame? no one.

2nd Point:

Humans work this way: If anything goes wrong, there will always be the Blamed & Blamer.

The Blamer is the one who, obviously, blames the one who made the mistake. 

The Blamed, however, is the one getting blamed.

Now, what if.. the mistake made cannot be put a blame upon? No human to blame, words nor actions are done, but this mistake is so animated that the consequences is, ironically, devastating. 

The point i am making: The blamer has no one to blame but himself for over-thinking things, anyway if i were to blame something/one i would blame TIME. 

"With time, feelings fade, memories formed, actions formed, words said. The pure horridness of all evil is time. 

But with time, Love is formed, memories , both happy and sad, are made, thus with time, people mature."

Haiz. my mind always contradict my feelings. Talk so much still feel the same. Well at least i got this outta my chest.

The reason i talked about time. is that i feel that life is a cycle. Feelings always goes around like a sinusoidal wave. Currently, i feel that im at the -ve region. People hurt people without even realising it. But u can't blame them. Only Time. There u go, if u understand it, u will, just open ur eyes and u'll see it.

It sucks to be of the other end of the line.And staring at it while your eyes bleed with tears.

3rd point:

I think i am gonna give up. After 8months.. all my sadness, happiness, will soon be over. I will give up. I guess he'll be happy to hear it though. WHY? i have no idea. Maybe is seeing someone of ur kin experiencing the same thing as u. Or he knows something i dunno, which yeah.. most prob it is. No difference. Honestly i have already started my rebounding since 1 mth ago. Guess no one notices. i think he did.  But i guess he also kinda gave up thinking otherwise from the rest. Why can't i be perfectly normal? stupid me. Sucks to be me i can tell u first. wait. i guess i could say i am normal. Since most people experience the same stuff as me. Like my sis, dunno what's going on . "They don't say, I don't listen."<--simple philosophy. Thus to sum this point up, i really am gonna try my best to move on. I hate facebook though. seeing you and him together in most of the mutual stuff is hurting me, slowly, but surely. SBS.

Today i realise i have an awesome family. 

"If your faith is strong, anything is possible to overcome."

Half of my Heart-john mayer & Taylor Swift. <3 

*listening to it now.*