First and foremost today's post is out of the many situations where i have such a big dilemma in my mind and no one to turn to, i turn to blogging.
Ok, today's post is about a recent passing of a lecturer in NYP. Mr Tang, a CNC milling teacher. The passing came as a shock, no one expected it. Everyone was still happily talking to him during the day. He left the school that day feeling a bit sick, and passed on at night. It came as a big blow to many, colleagues, students, FYP students and mentees. Today was the wake, everyone gathered together at LTQ-2 to commemorate his passing. I heard the news through twitter and was confirmed from a fellow lecturer that same night. Sad, and so shocking.
I feel so sad, because i know many people knows him as someone to be great, a mentor and a friend. But i never got the opportunity to get to know him. Never did i once ever taken his class, nor talked to him. But when i see my lecturers, friends, and even my girlfriend. It grieves me that i am unable to feel the same sadness as them. But only the sadness that they are grieving. This made me so paranoid with myself, that i can't be able to experience such sadness.
My friends, most, went to the wake. I didn't. The thoughts running through my mind, including the fact that i didn't have proper sleep the night before, enduring a gruesome morning of physical activities and sucuumb to a very bad headache(prolly from the phy act)... "Should i go?" , "I think if i'd go it'll be so awkward.", " I don't know him, never even had a single conversation with him before."
But yet, it's like i felt an obligation to go. But in the end i still didn't. Cos my headache was really too overwhelming. So i decided to take a bus back and i met my classmate at the bus stop. He actually was taught by him before, but decided not to go to the wake in the end bcos his girlfriend didn't want to. Maybe if i'd went, i would go because my girlfriend went, and she was grieving so it would be appropriate to accompany her. But haiz.. Really didn't feel good, firstly from the physical exhaustion, secondly from the stress i received from the class just before.
Conclusion
My delimma: Should i have gone for the wake? Knowing that there are glasses of cups behind every wall?
I say a little prayer every night for my love ones once almost every night. Tonight, you'll be in my prayers too. RIP.
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I say a little prayer every night for my love ones once almost every night. Tonight, you'll be in my prayers too. RIP.
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One good news though,
I passed my Napfa ! #happiness
Dunno if all my efforts to always talk to you are worth it. I can feel that you don't even bother to sustain this friendship, let alone brotherhood.
