silence.

I hear the silence. The bloody cold water. such oxymoron. such nonsense. sick. bored. mono. irritated.

Listening to Avril Lavigne songs, picking out a good song to emo on throughout the night.
Watched Thor again for the 2nd time.. Slept half of the time, but at least caught the 'after-credits' section. but missed the last train, so had to take the bus back. Even read my calculus book in the bus. wow.

damn............... wrote down a lot of stuff just now but blogger fucked up saving the post. nvm it can wait the next time i become emo again................................................. sobs.

Meet Jade, look what you've done.

Meet Jade. She apparently killed herself three days after making this video.. . What has happened to her, nobody knows.

it's damn sad.. she's so pretty too. and life doesn't end in high school.... u've only lived barely 10% of ur live and such small things is not gonna affect u till u die if u allow it to. I've suffered too, but i dun let it get the best of me. i've friends that gets the same kinda treatment too. being called bitch and stuff. now she's doing damn well in school. haiz. saddens me how people takes things so seriously . if it was me i would fuck those people inside out. make sure they don't fuck with me at all. my dad teach me,''If there's a way to settle stuff, make a proper agreement. but if there is just no settling it, u make sure u win the fight. and make sure the other person can't stand up from it afterwards, if not he's gonna fuck u back next time. ''

3000!

3000 views , it's stupid but small stuff like this makes me happy lol. and no i'm not a cyber freak who checks the number of view i have everyday.. 

reading other people blogs make me so sad. it's like blogs are there to talk about the sadness.. which is also d reason i started it anyway.. so no arguments there.. it's just like Mike Posner 's interview.. they asked him if he made songs base on his friends, would it piss them off. His response,"Yeah it would, and it did. when a single is made, everyone is so paranoid if the song is talking about them." Yes exactly what blog does.. 

u read it, u feel it.. "damn it all..is it me he's talking about?" and i'm not saying it's a bad thing.. but there's a difference in gaining a fact directly or indirectly.. u might realise that, that person is pissed off at you but he won't tell u in the face, yet u knew it indirectly.. how will u respond then? it's not so simple as in a punch in the face if u're pissed, cos the person ain't there. instead, it's an accumulation of anger till u c that guy again then till u punch him.. wouldn't that just be even worse?

But i'm not telling anyone to bombard me the next school day saying how fucked up i am lah.. it's just a personal opinion of views . everyone got problem u know? dun need to dishearten urself for others.. i feel the best friends are those that don't share ur burden but just embrace it and support u instead, instead of going into the matter.. Like what i've learnt from a friend over Teh-O & 3 hours of chit-chatting. 

"Friends with Benefits."

I've not know if everyone falls under that category. I know some are, to me. But there's a very very very fine line between those 'with benefits' and those 'without'.

I just hope u r not the one 'with benefits'.



dreamt of her last night.. it was a damn nice dream.. amidst all the zombies inside my dream.. u were there to make the dream the best i've ever had.. fuck my life.. i still love u so much... my right hand hurts fucking a lot now..   i wished the dream was a reality.. i wanna do all those things in the dream..