i don't understand.

I don't understand how human relations work:
We do the things we, by ourselves, want to do.
But in the process, along the way of our lives, we meet people with common interests, be it intentional or unintentional.
We meet and greet, some fall in love, some fall apart. We become more than just friends, some becomes worse than friends.
In the end, we all part ways, knowingly or unknowingly, purposefully or unintentional.
We learn, even though some might not know.
Some chooses to accept that mistake,
Some choose to move on, some do not.
We think our lives aren't perfect.
No one has.

We think that life is unfair.
"why did that person do that to me? That's unfair."
Life is indeed unfair.. no you're wrong.
Life is fair.
There can never be unbiasness nor non prejudice .
There will always be a perpetrator and a victim.
That's life.
We learn everything the hard way.
We learn things most through suffering and pain.

Then why?
Why do we keep living and learning if we just keep going through pain?
Do we live for ourselves,
or for others?
I don't mind living off myself though.
No friends,
No family,
No loved ones.
It'll be ok if i don't even know in the first place,
cos if i didn't meet any of them,
I wouldn't feel pain.
Because,
I wouldn't know.
But.

Why live in a world where you don't know?
Just so that you can not experience pain and suffering?
To learn?
To understand life?

No,
We live through this.
It isn't a matter of purpose.
It's a matter of living.

There's never a Right or Wrong, only Outcomes.

The only word I can say now is 'sorry'.
It seems like the hardest word,
but no one ever said life was this hard too.

No one knows how much it hurts.

 I learn and i'll accept.
We judge, we concur, but we do not object.
We debate on the Rights and Wrongs.But there is one Truth.
I do not agree, I do not disagree.
Opinions are based not on biaseness, mine, that is.
if not,
Who are you to say that other people are bias too.
They are not self-righteous,
I believe you are.
I wouldn't say now that justice will come and be served,
it's not in our hands to play God.
I only can choose to silently laugh it off only if you want me to.
I do believe in self righteousness. 

The Scientist.

Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you, tell you I need you

And tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions

Oh lets go back to the start

Running in circles, coming up tails

Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures

Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science, science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles, chasing our tails

Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy

Oh it's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start

patience is a vitue.

My friend told me that i've been using a lot of vulgarities, especially on twitter. so im trying to stop using it. But im really at the verge of anger/hate/love/sadness. You have no idea how many times my keyboard went , " f- *backspace* "

Ok i promise myself to stop using vulgarities on twitter. Especially after that 'issue' on twitter.

But.. why do i suddenly hear that you would read my twitter? didnt realised it was on public in the first place. kinda shock actually, thought you wouldn't bother at all. and cos of my issue i'd blocked my twitter as private. but i didn't realise blocking it means blocking you. feeling bad. but u should have told me, or followed me.. right? justsaying.

I am angry cos you said you're the type of person that'll just tell a problem straight to someone's face if u r unhappy. but u didnt. maybe cos we aren't together so i understand . But come on, at least let me have the chance to explain myself. Awkward or not, it beats making me suffer like that knowing that you feel this way.

You said that you feel we aren't compatible. I have no comments. We have known each other for 7 weeks , or 5 weeks and 4 days, or 39 days. And 5 dates. From there you say we aren't compatible? Im feeling so sad right now you have no idea. So many sacrifices i've made. and just your feeling alone is already killing me slowly. No idea to how many people how much sacrifices i've made. I could be a much happier person now honestly, the things i gave up for for those 39 days of a better bliss than what i could have if i'd chose not to even try. I've tried so hard. 

Patience Jeremy, Patience. Yeah i'm waiting yo. I'm not gonna say i didn't. And i guess it's been only a few weeks. I've already grown accustom to our 'every-weekend meetups' already. Giving you the space you need cos of your work and my studies. maybe it really wasnt meant to be? The timing and all. But i honestly dont feel that we aren't compatible! U mean to say we could go on 3 solo dates and for those 4-5 hr/date it was 100% awkward to you? I don't think so. It's just cos of my tweet fart that made you feel that way.. If you felt offended by it cos you thought it was you then im sorry.  I'm already trying my best . If we really don't work out then it's ok, but don't give up before you even tried yo. I've given up on so many other relationships cos i was so afraid of rejections, losing face and all those things. But with you it's different. You're the first girl that is definitely much more matured than any other girls i've chased. and i really don't want to let you go just like that. I'll definitely try more than best. Cos i think it's worth it. "We'' are worth it. I won't take a feeling as an answer . Till the day that either of us break down and cry and see if the other half will be there, that i'll know if we're really compatible. And i won't break down that easily, although i'm almost there most of the time. 

PS: If we are really together, you'll be my first too.