Today was one of the most sudden and unexpected events of my life. Who'd knew it would happen like this. From anxiety to relieve to sadness in a few hours. Why did you have to leave us so soon.. Somehow my sister feels like it's her fault that we did not realise the severity of not removing her uterus. My dad and sis are so devastated, to lose so many family in less than a year is taking it's toll. It's not me, but seeing my family like this really breaks my heart. Seeing my dad, someone on the outside having a strong front, breaking down at the sight of the motionless being that brought us so much joy over the last couple of years. Something that from a 'no' to a family member. 

It's not like my grandparents that we were already expecting their passing for many months even years. This kind of sudden loss its too hard to comprehend. Even now I have to remind myself that she is not lying down next to my parents on her bed looking at my parents with a wag of her tail waiting for someone to go to her and sayang her. Too much.. praying to God for a miracle only for that fulfillment to last only a few hours.. Fucking heartbreaking.. I don't know how many changes to my family before we all break. 

In death there's life, in life there's love. To love is to know there'll be death. But to choose love over death is evermore. Reminisce the Halcyon Days.