For those that doesn't know: When i am intensely emotional, my right arm will start to hurt.. weird but true.
I fucking feel useless, as a friend, an old friend. I hate that i blame myself for things around me, i hate myself for over-thinking things.
Reality blurs with thoughts, imaginations & ideas, and that's the reason humans would never truly understand each other.
Unable to imagine the pain you'd experience, i'm only looking at the end result, and looking from a distance, i could never fathom such agony. U were so happy, u are still happy still, but i know you're hurting inside. Reading your posts, listening to those songs you uploaded, i teared, dunno if it's yawn tears or not. Fuck for not being able to do much, how i'd wish you'd call earlier. Maybe we're not of the closest, oldest? Maybe. I'd love to continue to be an important part of your present life, instead of the past, as a friend whom you can go to in times like these. Seeing you do this to yourself, as a friend of current, i could only say, but never tell. I could only advice, but never scold. That's why i'm not liking myself, it's being useless that's the matter.
I could only say, but never tell.
I could only advice, but never scold.
Words are naught. I am naught.
I would never know and understand truly the cause for your pain.
Maturity only comes with experience. I am but a faux impression of maturity.Maybe you think i'm someone that should meddle in your affairs, or someone who's out of his league to handle such things. Yes i agree, i might not be the best of persons to help, I'm kiasu, kiasee, I run at the sight of danger, i'm selfish, i'm cheap, i'm ignorant, I'm arrogant.
Honestly I'm quite useless.
