We seek salvation in despair, only to find happiness at the end of the road. But once that happiness is taken away, only thus the cycle will continue, this as such is life. But those who are of the sought salvaged, will there not be an end, nor a start, to you and your life? And as such i ask of who's significance those who are the salvager or those of the salvaged?
If i meet God i will ask him as such, i sought the answer to the question i impose, cos this is one of the many situations i face in my daily life, being at the receiving end of things, so i want to answer myself if being the stagnant being is good, to those that i help salvage their situation, it is good for them, but what about me? I need answers, i do not only want to live my others, i need to live for myself, it's not about the question of time managing, it's of the proportion of time given to myself and others. I don't need the time, I had lived without it, only to cause mental damage to myself. So a question of 'need' & 'want' is still a vast point of view from anyone to come in contact with my situation.
Ok, only during a question to my face, where i question my sanity, my humble thoughts of long, many sleepless nights, thinking.. till when the day comes, i am stunned, dumbfounded, even crestfallen. How do i manage something of many thoughts when a single instant could take everything i've decided from me in a blink of an eye. I wish i had someone to whisper in my ear, that if all those thoughts and decisions i have made were all right or wrong. Of course there isn't a right nor wrong answer, but i'd rather have an assurance rather than a retard sound of breath through the other phone, 'sighing' every time my decisions have all been questioned. Saddens how small and insignificant my thoughts are, to those that can manipulate the world with their thoughts, mine are those of a peasant, unable to even control my own. I had thought i've seen it from all angles, I guess the heart prevents you from going to even the tightest of angles, only to get brought down to my knees, once again.
Here we go again..
Animals- Neon Trees.
