Day.

Je suis desja d'amour tanné
Ma tres doulce Valentinée...

—Charles d'Orléans, Rondeau VI, lines 1–2 

To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.
Then up he rose, and donn'd his clothes,
And dupp'd the chamber-door;
Let in the maid, that out a maid
Never departed more.

—William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act IV, Scene 5

It's Another Day. 

A long day. Walking down the wall and winding hill after missing my initially-planned bus stop. Taking a sip at the 1 day old smoke, which was utterly disgusting, while being cruelly, but surely, reminded of the day whom people call it Valentine's Day, yes another day of money laundering for the ever most smart marketing strategist. Oh well, not that i could say i'll be celebrating with anyone, or her, for that matter. 

Taking the last of my smoke, i lighted the horrendously devil and place it gently in front of my house gate, the pure irony. 

Coming back home to the amusement of my family of me doing community service, yes, its was a long day. I was reminded constantly of you today. Seeing a face who looked like you... Demi Goh, oh so i've heard u were called. It's damn sad to remember stuff like that.

imissyou.iwantospeaktoyou.ilovedyou.iloveyou.icould.idid.ican't.now.never.did.perhaps.no.no.no.

I wished i could turn this aching heart into something of a better use. I turn my vengeance of torture to the smoke. Which is surprisingly, still pathetically a disgusting feel, and yet, i chose it. I guess it is not for me to decide on how one acts on the body. I guess it is, it's just no one is perfect.. i guess. I guess. No one could know that smiles may always have sadness in it.  Some could, some choose not to. Who knows? 


The computer switch on like the rising of the sun, so inevitable. I just had to take this off my mind. The song. The song. The song. Oh the song.. I love this song. The man repeating the lines:

Don't try to live so wise. Don't cry 'cause you're so right. Don't dry with fakes or fears, Cause you will hate yourself in the end. 

-Toshiro Masuda, Wind

On repeat, on repeat on repeat. Maybe it could convince my dear dear friend that i've not listen to the other song anymore. It could outdo the play numbers any time if i keep this current song on replay? No, no more. I don't listen to it no more. Memories are long forgotten, not by the fact that i choose not to. But new memories are more important to be cherished then the sad and ambitious. Yes, weird it as may sounds to anyone, the two adjectives together. I guess it is a metaphor to signify the end the past long gone. It was gone for me, this is hopefully applicable to you. I love you as a friend. As a brother. I never did love her. Not once. Affections are only for the faint souls that cannot grasp their own selfish reality. They have to drag into their lives others, whom are willingly, most of the time. That is called bonds. selfish.? no, the word in itself such a lucid word to quantify the lives of many that the term is inexpressibleness. 


Ahh. I love it. The sweet melodies of Love. Watched a movie yesterday. Entitled, 
"Just Go With It"
A movie that is just fantastic. Laughed thoroughly during the whole movie. It was so predictable in the end but the storyline was just outstanding. Applause with a standing ovation for the comical performances by the ever-lovely Adam Sandler, and quite nicely done by Jennifer Aniston. The best was of course Nicole Kidman, who gave a total 'ass-shaking' hilarious performance, applaud for the awesome abs. (Y) A first for me seeing her in a comedic film. 

Sir Arthur Doyle mentioned, "Fooling the readers, a constant battle between me and the writer. But it was mostly I who prevails. Shockingly enough, most of them are willing losers in this battle. To be intrigue in the end of the story." 

No that wasn't a full abstract, but from a long paragraph summarized into my words as what it would have him say it otherwise. Oh the book is from "The Holmes Affair", awesome book to be checking out on. SGD$31. Worth it for my 18th. 
Thanks mum.


Ahh, my birthday. ! I always love birthdays.. especially mine. But it seems that the affair always seem to be subjectively, and not literally, (touch wood), demised. Always seems that the affair are always not as awesome as it is. Oh well, the grass is always green on the other side. (curse u "My Sweet 16" on MTV.)

Grass Is Greener On The Other Side.                  . . .

.Isn't life as such. 

Well i am no exception.

I am an emo bitch. My friends will ascertain that for anyone. I am downright sensitive to the minute of details and everything i usually write down in my blog is usually directed at someone. And due to the English that acts like a siphon to the common mind, it gives me a satisfaction of my readers decoding whatever i am writing and thinking maybe it is They that I am mentioning. Oh well, i could write that in lyrics, but i feel that is a more shitty way to convey my feelings as i would be a lyrical machine, fcuking out, by now, a thousand songs within a few months. 

A philosopher is no more than a writer, an artist, or even a song writer. 

My dear friends, do not take that into account for any deprecation you may feel for me for stating the previous paragraph. I still love u all . It's just that i'd rather not let everyone know that is is You that i am mentioning, like how CH writes chinese.. hahaha. 


You know.. maybe tomorrow will be special like how my friend said. Maybe i am just wishing it to be. Well, like how i said to her, "We believe what we can, to get through the times. No matter how minute it is or redundant it is. Common humans are just simply minute minded." Yes, people would turn to anything to justify their emotional state into a physical form, I took back the smoke. I still hate it. But i still do it. I am as such, a common moron. Hahaha. What can i do then? I don't see how anyone is able to help me. I am sorry but the 3 months have pass my friend. I don't believe it quite as much as before. And maybe the irony of it all, my friend, is that the fortune telling, is to tell me that my friends will guide me through the hard times. Oh well, i guess the times have passed. So i guess i am still The Fool. Yes, i just figured out the song my friend, the meaning in the song, "Fool Again". Hahaha. Sadness. Were the songs intended on me then? I hope not. Lol, yes i am really laughing.


Last checked, 17 times. This song has been playing. Started playing this song since i started writing, do ur math. :p 
My friend, 3 more times till it exceed our old song. Then it is thus, "reminisce the halcyon days", of old, of not thy memories, but of times. Not of her. But of us. Thinking that it is at that moment, and her, that brought us together, I thank thee of such actions. Of course it is me who is of accused. But thee as brought to me such things that brings everything as placed today. No things in this world have a "What If".. My friend. The world is as it is. The change is in the future, never in the past.
1 more times, my friend.
And yes i am mentioning you. Not technically, but surely. :)


The Question.


I questioned my friend, whom i loved to ask, a person who's intellects are very much base on consistent hard work. I pit my wits and intellect with her. 
"Hard work vs The Dreamer." 
Who prevails?
The Question,
"If the term, Never judge a book by it's cover, applicable. Thus meaning that personality is more important than appearance. Yes? No?"  
Technically speaking, on my argument, i said that i agreed yes, BUT, stressing on the aspect that what makes a personality?? I said appearance has a factor in it, THUS it is arguably so that appearance is also important to be judged. And i will make my stand in the following example:

• There are 2 twin brothers, both born ugly. and separated at birth. Brother A to  a rich family, and B to a poor one. A is rich, ugly and fat, because of his richness filled up to his belly. B is poor,  ugly but slim. (Personalities are not yet mentioned.) And they don't know they each have brothers. But damn do they look ugly. And similar for that matter. A studies at a rich school with rich kids. The fact that they see him as someone who's fat and ugly, the other rich kids mock this kid. This kid then sub-consciously will become 2 things, 1) sensitive, self centered, low-esteem. 2) honest , humble, ignorant to others petty comments and focus on his own life. Now now, let's not fool ourselves that a boy at a young age, who is rich, would conform to number 2. OK, now number 1 points, all focus to the sub-conscious parts of the boy's mind. At which the mind is a powerful thing. Mind over Body. The mind will soon turn this small fat kid into something of an arrogant, self-centered and loud mouth(due to his low-esteem). These 3 aspects make up his personality. Boy B, on the other hand, works at a farm, who works for his foster family night and day. Lives in a kampong and picks up shit everyday to feed to their pigs and throw shit all over the farm. <-- shittin' fun job if u asked me. Ok. So 2 things will happen: 1)The kid will probably starve to death cos he picks up shit and is poor. ok i am just kidding. But seriously, he will grow up resenting the fact that shit was all his childhood was about. Thus making him hate his shitty live. (Lol i love shit as a double connotation.(Y))  2)Humble, honest, a simple farmer boy that is grateful that a kind family picks him up even though he is ugly and no one wants him. (that is a reality, don't question me .) Honestly I wouldn't know how this boy would turn out. But all i wanna point out is that face is indeed important. WHAT IF. The ugly kids were left abandon cos of their ugliness, thus making these 2 stories possible. And WHAT IF. they were not ugly, Boy A might have been the cool kid, Boy B could be handsome and humble at the same time. Unlike his brother. The point taken. Keep an open mind. Not saying that personality is most important than appearance, but appearance plays a part in creating a personality. If u don't agree in my last sentence i'll freaking ... OOOOO u don't wanna know.what i am gonna do.....ARGH.(*potentially angry if u don't agree with me*) 

just kidding lah. I just want you to be open minded to stuff. Don't accuse people base on observations and minute actions. It doesn't serve any justification to your plight and it is a bit ironic to a extend. See what happened a few weeks ago? No one was wrong, it was just that no one was open minded enough to accept both sides of the stories.

Oh well it ended so i am not gonna bring that up again.

My dear friend, this song is played 26 times already. 

My love, i have no words to say to you. Nor do you intend to do the same even if u had any. But the words i long to say to you are all that i could have in a flash. Words are not so easy to say. They are, actually, But the constant fear in their consequences are by far the scariest thing in the world. It is the fear that make evolution slow down. And the reason, too, that humans aren't extinct, yet. Thus as such, such fears are on both worlds. Oh well, isn't the Grass Always Greener On The Other Side? 

Your's sincerely.

Wind - Toshiro Masuda

(x28)