since morning... i woke up after only 3 hrs of sleep to go to school for WSS training. i ate with my family for breakfast and it was pretty nice ..
but once i came to training. i seriously wanted to just drop dead .. like those that had continued throughout this 2 weeks while i went for poly forum basically completed almost the whole training, while im stuck way behind everyone.. even the newbie manage to catch up with them. So yeah, whole morning screwed. whole time i was contemplating whether to drop WSS since im lagging so much behind, even if i would waste my whole holidays on this, i honestly mind but the skills acquired is damn good even if i dun get into the singapore team. and its damn good on a resume. but then the atmosphere is friendly but i fking hate losing . kannan kept trying to cheer me up throughout but i was damn sian. so i went to SAO to talk to rene, also about my musical commitments. she said a pretty good thing , "Even if u missed out 2 weeks of training, the others missed out what u have learnt in poly forum, and thats something that you can take pride in, which they would never learn if they weren't there." so that pretty much cheered me up. and musical commitment she said she'll give me tml to c if i really wanna continue, no love lost, but to lemme decide properly whether to drop or not.. i mean she said that its only 3 more mths and i'll accomplish smt that would be my bucket list.. dont talk about my french issues too but if i can tahan till this dec den its ok alrdy... so gotta c tml n decide... i met them for dance at 3 till 6 .. it was pretty good motivated me to dance.. but the big question is whether if i still wanna continue pursuing into going to competition.. or even going for lessons.. she said she wont be available on sats, which was my initial plan.. till may. omfg seriously dunno how sia. its either i go for thurs trainings or not.. 120 bucks ? contemplating again..............
went home for a nice dinner with my family.. it was pretty nice.. my mum said she felt like a supermodel at US compared to those huge angmohs which really cracked me up..
leon called me for supper as usual. i met him and walter asked me to go drinking with them at Timbre. so after that went to dhoby gaut.. mother fking i alrdy in mrt they tell me to go home cos most of them wanna zao. fuck im like not here not there u expect me to go home? i'd rather meet them awhile and at least see their faces even if it was for a while. i walked from dhoby to rochor i couldnt find d place ended up they left so thought meet walter go his house for a drink maybe to ease the guilt for both ends i dunno but i was pretty much too pissed off to think. i tried calling a bunch of friends but timings were all just too fucked . i tried calling her but obviously she's not a night person. so i pretty fking gave up, told him i was meeting a friend and left back last train to kembangan. thought could meet leon to let out some steam ... AND YAY THUNDERSTORM. fuck my sorry life. so couldnt meet, couldnt go home. my sis was pretty fucking awesome she was obligated to send me back after i asked her. i bought her a H2O plain even if no discount whatsoever but i couldnt give half a shit. all i knew that today, family are my number one right now. No friend will fucking be there for you if you really are at your end point. that's what i learnt today. no matter the sweet talking, your family will bloody tell u straight in your face and say you're fucking stupid and you'll just have to say 'yes ima fking retard' .
lesson fucking learn..... tml cfm mood fucked again.. WSS training > french singing practice > musical training . 9am - 10pm . fucking awesome ...........
